Blog Post #11: Managing Strong Feelings Pt 1

The management of strong feelings is an important part of being resilient . It is probably one of the most difficult skills to master. And today is certainly a time to have a lot of strong feelings about many of the things happening in our world. These feelings are in addition to the ones that we may have about events occurring in our own individual lives. But if we are breathing in have a pulse we most likely have feelings about what is happening in our world around for example the issue of racism and how it is being discussed in the media. Whether we believe that systemic racism exists or not most of us will have feelings about how it is being presented and discussed. We also will most likely have feelings about the way the pandemic has been dealt with whether we believe that masks work or that they are a waste of time. Most of us have a reaction to the continuing loss of life in what appears at times to be senseless wars. Our feelings may run the gamut from extreme anger and frustration to feeling dysphoric and said. We often feel overwhelmed by these feelings especially if we feel we have no way to discharge them or express them.

Finding ways to express these feelings is critical to feeling less overwhelmed and less confused. It is also a key to being able to think logically about what is happening in our world and come up with solutions that are not based totally on emotion but on reason as well. Strong emotions tend to cloud our thinking. If they are not discharged and expressed especially feelings of anger, we may turn them on ourselves and become quite overwhelmed and depressed. The trick of course is admitting that the feelings exist and finding productive ways of discharging them. Many of us would prefer to pretend that these feelings don't exist. But denial is not going to help us. Talking about how we feel will. It may be brainstorming with someone about what we can do with these feelings will also help.

This is a time when we need to be proactive not passive. We need to be actively engaged in the problem solving process. There are many opportunities to express the feelings that we have. Most of these involved being more active and engaged in our world rather than isolating and withdrawing. Finding an activity that we think will allow us to express these feelings is a good idea. Maybe that activity is exercise or competitive sports are running. Physical expression, especially with anger is a good thing. Maybe you set up a punching bag in your basement, or decide to beat the heck out of a pillow or your bed. It is a much better way to go kicking the dog or yelling at your spouse.

We'll talk more about this in the next post.

Ron Breazeale, PhD